donttouchmynewtonballs: when you’re in a really bad mood and someone tries to cheer you up
callmekitto: internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone” THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by...– Stanley Kubrick (via prahkalasalives)
hotlocalsingle: DONT SIT ON TOP THIS DICK IF U SCARED OF HEIGHTS
sofalcondone: kellyinigomontoya: are there any puns about yogurt???? i’ve never in my life heard a yogurt pun, help yogurt to be kidding me…
me during the summer: is today wednesday or sunday
Everybody in my house is asleep.. and then there's...
lolsofunny: sodamnrelatable: then everyone in the morning is awake…and then there’s me (lol here!)
rainbowbearattack: it’s called call of duty ghosts because the franchise is fucking dead
hythe: fwips: orlandobloomers: people used to have to paint their own selfies
aaaah, cute people.
deathstarforchewie: stop being nice to me or else i will get a crush on you and everything will be bad.
mytoecold: A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.” I wrote this: Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me. Love, Drew
a little joy: anyone else having a quarterlife... →
joiifulness: Tell me I’m not the only one. Perhaps we’re a flock of awkward, misfit ducklings that are paddling around aimlessly, hoping that by some miracle, we will turn into swans. We watch as, one by one, our friends around us make something of themselves, whether it’s through their career, money,…
theyellowbrickroad: so i was wearing this shirt with these super comfortable jeans all day but something felt weird about them so when i got home i took them off and changed into pajamas and i was looking at the back of them and